#how to write present continuous
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
youtube
#youtube#english#grammar#languages#learning#education#present continuous#present continuous with examples#affirmative#negativehow#how to write present continuous
0 notes
Text
y'know it wasn't until i went to pull all my stats data off the nano website that i realized: it's not actually gr8 for grabbing things in one fell swoop, huh??
#text#personal#nano#nanowrimo#writing#like i want the Daily Counts and the Total Running Counts#and for some reason those are in two separate tables??#so i have to paste twice into my excel file *glaring moji*#i am also grabbing full page screenshots for The Graphs As Presented but like.#even that.#the data tables are scroll bars nested within the big page and i CANNOT ADJUST THEM#so there's really no way to grab all this data easily or at once lmao#anyway. dumpsterfire all around.#i'm still upset about it even though i didn't use them last year#just like. How Dare You.#this WAS my process and now it's got the Yuck on it#i mean i definitely still write this way and will continue to do so. but. SALTY.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
This sounds like something that Robert Langdon could help them with
#considering how many secret societies he has had to deal with throughout his books#someone should write that crossover#it can work very well especially when we include egyptology and the symbols that have continued to be used even in the present era#this post is for me and the three other people#yugioh#cide watches yugioh#cide watches yugioh dm#yugioh dm#yugioh duel monsters
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
I would love to hear any thoughts you may have on Lestrade's wife and what happened to their marriage, should you feel so inclined?
i’ve thought about this specific piece of Lestrade Lore™ more than i care to admit, so i should feel so inclined, yes!
i definitely don’t think the lestrades’ marriage was short-lived, he gives the energy of someone who was married for at least a decade, maybe even 15-20 years.
i see a younger lestrade as being playful, flirtatious, probably a ladies man & definitely aware of it (have you seen young rupert graves? bffr.) but getting married sort of young. i imagine their relationship to kind of just have happened; they got to chatting and all the sudden were inseparable etc but never really saw a relationship coming until it kind of seemed like the obvious/right thing to do (in hindsight, lestrade probably recognizes that pursuing a relationship because it was expected & not because it was a good match in the long run wasn’t a great idea).


(also he looked so good in the episode jesus christ)
it was a healthy marriage in the beginning, lestrade is clearly devoted (he evidently went back to his wife after she cheated the first time, which speaks either of his loyalty or obliviousness, or something else). i think lestrade was content and was working his way up the NSY ranks during the early years of the marriage probably had the successful-career-as-a-detective-with-a-family-in-a-semi-detached-in-the-suburbs kind of vision for himself. however, he got the offer for a DI position & knew that the workload would increase and it could take a toll but the offer was too good to decline even if it meant he spent several extra hours at work in the evenings.


i imagine his wife got jealous or felt bored and insecure because of that, and i’m sure having sherlock ringing lestrade’s phone during dinner or at 2am demanding a case (& lestrade indulging him) didn’t help matters. so eventually she sought out someone else, thinking lestrade would be too busy to notice (she was right, but sherlock dredged that secret up quickly enough, & i do believe lestrade had suspicions but gave her the benefit of the doubt). she probably thought he cared more about his career than her, which wasn’t the case, but i do think lestrade probably took some of his marriage and personal life for granted and put it on pause for The Work (like sherlock in a way tbh).


obviously they separated at some point & i think it was probably lestrade who made the first move at trying to reconcile because he probably felt he was the reason for his wife’s infidelity. he truly thought they had been making progress until the infamous asib christmas (he cancelled the dorset holiday. the greek islands were nicer, anyways).


he looked a little sullen and tipsy at the wedding in tsot which i just chalked down to him having feelings about his divorce and also his friend’s gay situationship but evidently he’s not opposed to dating again as we see from tst & The One is out there for him somewhere live laugh love lestrade 🙂↕️
#jesus can i ever shut up about lestrade#(the answer’s no)#i do resent the depiction of lestrade’s wife as being a cold-hearted bitch though#obviously i’m not a fan of her#how does one marry a guy that handsome & then pick the pe teacher#truly villian behavior#but frankly i think she was resentful and jealous and bored and took it out in the worst way#lestrade was smart enough to recognize that and rationalize it and attempt to be more present#which is why he gave her a second chance#but i can hardly think of an excuse for continuing or starting round two of an affair#so i hope lestrade enjoyed the hell out of that holiday#and eventually finds someone who recognizes his needs & career challenges as well#(a certain minor government official perhaps?)#a lot of this is kind of fanon but i don’t see enough nuance on the Lestrade Marriage Situation#also rupert graves MAN OF ALL TIME#anyways that’s enough for tonight i think#god i need to get back into fic writing#greg lestrade#bbc sherlock#my rambles#ask#rupert graves#asib#thob
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gyjo in the fandom
cw: light discussion of ableism
Gyjo… what am I thinking about gyjo…
I like them. I like them a lot, actually. They have paralleled narrative arcs, they complement each other nicely, the romantic subtext is incredibly obvious to the point that even the most homophobic fan you know will admit they understand why people ship it… so why do I also have a problem with it?
There’s a lot of good fanart. Hell, I’ve reblogged plenty. Maybe it’s just something that’s more pronounced in fic.
I’m trying to word this correctly. My issue with gyjo has nothing to do with the text itself. I think my problem is just how people portray it in the fandom.
Maybe it’s because it’s so popular, or maybe it’s the sheer prominence of applying ‘Character A’ and ‘Character B’ dynamics without considerable regard for the characters involved, but I feel gyjo is very prone to flanderization. I believe the intersection with how ableist people are toward Johnny (intentionally or not, subtly or not) and the old tropes these two get shoved into makes it so I have trouble enjoying fics in the fandom.
I’m not saying it’s bad to enjoy certain tropes. I’m not saying headcanons are bad either. What I am saying is that writing is hard, but if you’re going to write fanfiction please have consideration for the characters you’re writing. The arcs of these two are complex and multilayered, which is why I think they have such staying power, but I also think they also provide a good opportunity for us as writers and artists to examine our biases when it comes to the portrayal of certain groups, personality types, mental illnesses, queerness, disability, etc. and maybe come out better people for it.
#gyjo#steel ball run#sbr#jjba#very rough idea of my thoughts concerning their portrayal in the fandom#imo there’s weird implications in any situation where gyro is written as johnny’s doctor or some such since it presents many power issues#again: what I am Not saying is that you can’t have a medical kink or whatever it may be#it’s just that#there’s a prevalence of ableist presentations of Johnny in so many ways but for me it’s especially bad in gyjo fic for whatever reason#perhaps it’s people continuing to write heterocized power tropes for a gay couple#on top of an already complicated presentation of disability and mental illness in the form of Johnny#(thanks Araki)#and to be honest gyro is not treated much better. he’s usually very ooc. I think its probably due to just how much he changes that#people could just find it easier to pick a certain aspect of his personality and make that the whole thing#but I just don’t enjoy the gyjo that’s in the ao3 tag. and I want to emphasize there *is* good stuff by people who do treat these topics#with respect#but it’s not the norm which makes it just not enjoyable to check out the tag#at least to me#vent post#kind of#my posts#gyro Zeppeli#Johnny Joestar#ugh I don’t even know why I’m writing all this#to reiterate this is me talking. on my blog. please don’t hate spam or w/e
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Decennial
(2,396 words)
Evan and Gregory, now age twenty-two, celebrate the tenth anniversary of their meeting in the comfort of their shared apartment.
Its already the afternoon when Evan meets Gregory at the couch in their shared apartment, smartphone in hand. Gregory glances up from whatever he was watching on TV, quickly grabbing the remote to pause the channel.
He doesn't even have a chance to greet him before he notices Evan's face. Worry quickly creases his brows, and he moves to get off of the couch. "Evan? Hey, what's wron--"
Evan tries to convey that everything's fine with no words. Because it's true. He just can't muster any up right now. When Gregory seems to understand enough, that's when Evan thrusts his phone into Gregory's line of sight.
Gregory shifts on the couch, taking the phone and studying the screen to no avail. Hes pulled up the calendar on his phone, the date reading March 4th, 2045. Gregorys brows furrow, then, "Uh. I dont understand."
Evan would have rolled his eyes if he weren't so emotional right now. He scoffs, tapping the screen and mumbling "The date. Look at the date."
It only takes another moment for Gregory to understand. Evan can almost see the gears turning in his friends head in the moments before he gasps sharply. "Oh!"
Gregory doesn't look away immediately, just taking it in as if it surpises him. "Its ten years since we met today."
Evan nods at that. A small smile stretching on his face when Gregory finally turns to look at him.
But he should know by now -really, it's been ten years after all- that Gregory knows him. Probably better than Evan himself.
"What's with that look?" Gregory questions, seemingly noticing how Evans smile doesnt quite reach his eyes. "You look sad."
Evan shakes his head immediately. "No-- that's not it." He replies, feeling a bit more fit to speak. "Its just..."
"Ten years?" Gregory prompts, and Evan nods. Gregory seems to get it. He sighs a bit, and Evan can tell hes not alone in reminiscing. "Jeez. Thats..."
"...A long time ago." "A big number." They say at the same time.
Evan joins Gregory on the couch, taking his phone back. Ten years. Ten years since he met Gregory. Ten years since Evan had been that little ball of anxiety. Ten years since the best thing that ever happened to him.
Nine years since their first holidays together. Eight years since they started high school. Four since they graduated. Three since they started college.
One year since they got their first apartment together.
Evan chuckles all of the sudden, loud as a jet engine in the seemingly silent room. "Do you remember what we always wanted to do as kids?"
Gregory only has to think for a moment. "You mean what we made a reality?"
"Yeah." Evan replies. "We got that apartment. Not exactly the college dorm we imagined, though."
"Psh. Are you kidding? Our apartment is way better than any dorm we could have gotten." Gregory scoffs. "We would have like. One room to our name, and we would have to share."
Its Evan's turn to scoff, this time. He smiles, the memories coming back easily. "You're acting like we didnt basically share your room when we were thirteen."
"You were always there." Gregory agrees, but Evan knows by now that Gregory doesn't mean it in a bad way. Never. That's one of the things that have changed since they met. Evan doesnt assume the worst first, and ask questions later anymore. "You got that right."
"Thank god we had Vanessa to tell us what to do." Evan says. "We would be lost without her."
Gregory snorts, shuffling on the couch. Evan glances over, and strangely, being here, in this moment, even though its nothing differnet from what he and Gregory do every day, reminds him so much of when he and Gregory would just hang out together on his bed. Drawing, watching videos, talking and laughing... all of it.
"Its a good thing she told us to get an apartment while we still could." Gregory says. "We would have burned down the entire dorm."
Evan giggles at the thought. It wouldn't be the first time he and Gregory would make a mess in the kitchen. He still remembers how scared he was as a fourteen year old, when he had burned some of the food meant for Vanessa's 'Welcome Home' dinner Gregory insisted they make. The Fazbears house had stunk of char and smoke for days afterwards.
He was terrified at the time. If he had ever done anything like that at his old house...
He shakes that thought away. He does that often. Thinking back to his time alone with his father and brother. His biological ones. It's been a challenge, shutting down his brain when it tries to recall the memories.
Its another thing that's changed. As a kid, he knew nothing about helping himself and his anxiety. He didnt want to. He never saw himself as worthy of deserving relief, and it was so subconscious, little Evan never even realized it.
Now, it couldn't be more different. Hes never been healthier.
Who knew all it took was a best friend for life?
He looks over at Gregory. Who's still recounting some of their old childhood memories. Evan doesnt talk to Michael anymore. The damage he caused is too much to ignore. Evan... Evan doesnt want to see him anymore. Despite Michaels wake up call, it had been all too late. The damage had been done.
Michael missed his chance. Evan had decided that a long time ago. Maybe he should have had his change if heart earlier if he didnt want Evan to find the brother he always wanted in someone else.
Because that's what Gregory is. Its nothing new, they were having these revelations when they were only teenagers. Probably even earlier for Evan. But Evan never stops thinking about how much Gregory truly is his family.
That suprise and shock of the kindness hed received from Gregory from little Evan ten years ago is hard to shake when all hed been taught his whole life is how to hate himself. How he deserved to be treated badly, because if he hadn't been the way he was, he could have made himself worthy. A respectable man. Tough. An immovable rock. Real men dont show their emotions, or even experience them. Real men can defend themselves. Real men start to toughen up at the ripe age of twelve.
Evan is twenty two, now. So is Gregory. This life they'd built for themselves, with such a bright future... little Evan never would have even dreamed of. Little Evan had thought there was nothing there for him. Little Evan had thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel. That he had been doomed from the start. That his nature nipped his figure at the bud before it could begin.
This life theyve built for themselves. When Evan had ran to the Fazbears as soon as he'd turned eighteen with only a bag of clothes, a binder full of drawings, and yellow bear to his name. When he'd shared the room that felt like his own as well growing up with Gregory. When they'd spent those few months together until getting into the same college and choosing an apartment.
This life theyve built for themselves. That Evan would have only seen as a fantasy when he was eleven.
Theyve changed so much. It always shocks Evan every time he sees an old photo, or really remembers what it had been like pre-Gregory. Evan is growing out his hair, now. Before, all hed ever had was a months overgrown generic slickback. But he gets to choose now. Like how he paints his nails. Gregory has never really cared about his appearance, but he saw a photo of his Dad as a college student and immediately went to go replicate the blue streaks in his hair when it was time for himself to go off to college.
Evan almost laughs sometimes when he thinks about how much Gregory really is just an older version of who he was when he was twelve. He's different, like Evan is, but he's the same as well. A constant.
He knows hes the same, as well. Just with longer hair, bolder clothes, and the power of experimentation. Gregory has never been one to care much about his clothes, but to Evan, its everything. To be able to wear what he always wanted as a kid. To not be confined to whatever annual clothes his Father would buy him from the back to school section. Its freeing.
It's in that moment that he thinks back, really thinks back to his life pre-Gregory, and the contrast of the before and after.
It's all too much, in that moment. The memories and the sentiments and the nostalgia. In true Evan fashion, he cries about it.
Gregory has long since learned how to differentiate Evan's tears between his emotionality and a genuine issue. So when Evan begins wiping silent tears away, he just smiles one of those smiles he does, and pats him on the shoulder, pulling him in for a side hug.
Its digging a hole in Evan's chest, this feeling. It's not bad. But it's not exactly good either. It's some kind of a loss, but a hope as well. Remembering how much he loved back then. As much as he loves right now.
"I--" Evan stutters, sniffling. Gregory hands him one of the many boxes of tissues they always have on hand in their apartment. "It... It feels like we need to celebrate, somehow. I mean... ten years is big."
Evans mind floats to a cake. Or a two person party. Or a collaborated drawing. Evan's mind floats to many things. Many options. Ten years is big, right? Something that big needs a big party. Something big to commemorate it.
But Gregory just hums, and lays eyes on the thick shelf of DVDs they have tucked by the wall right by their TV. "How about a movie night?"
Evan's about to interrupt, say something about the milestone, but Gregory continues. "Do you remember all our favorites as a kid?"
Evan stops himself short, almost scoffing, because of couse he does. How could he not, when he and Gregory had stayed up so many times to watch them together, alongside stifled giggles and ice cream straight out of the carton? "Of course I do."
Gregory gets off the couch, crouching by the bookshelf and picking out a select few movies. Evan catches the titles on the packaging from all the way were hes sitting. Every single one of them is special to him.
Gregory deposits the movies on their coffee table, three DVDs spilling out onto the glass surface. "Then I can't think of a better way to spend the night."
Despite Evan's attempts, he cant either. Despite watching these movies almost regularly with Gregory even now, opening the casing feels different in this moment. It feels special. Evan feels like hes thirteen again.
Before starting their marathon, they make a huge bowl of popcorn, pouring caramel on it just how they liked it as kids. As they continue to now. Evan gets the carton of ice cream out of the fridge, handing Gregory his spoon and taking his own.
All they need is a throw blanket and they're ready. It's the exact setup they've done for years. Starting ten years ago today. This tradition has lasted this long, and it will outlive the milestone.
It feels so familiar, Evan cant stop thinking. His emotions are dialed up to eleven tonight. It only increases when the sky darkens outside their windows. He remembers coming home from school with Gregory and just. Immediately piling onto his bed with snacks and pillows and turning the lights off before they'd dive into another movie. Only going to bed when Freddy forced them to.
Because that's what it was. Thats what it still is. Home. All Evan feels right now is home.
They laugh at all the same parts. They cry as well. They cheer. They point out the same things. Nothing has changed.
Sure, ten years is big. But Evan can't think of a better way of spending the anniversary than continuing to do what hes loved to do with Gregory throughout the years. This doesnt mark the end of an era, or a big change. It marks how long hes had the gift of his brother. His family. His real family. The fifteenth mark will, as well. So will the twentieth.
All the tenth mark says is hes had ten years worth of joy and growth. and He'll continue to do just that.
After the third movie, Evan takes a quick look at his phone. The numbers 12:03 look back at him from his lockscreen, a picture of him and Gregory. The date has switched to the 5th.
"You're my brother." Evan says suddenly to Gregory at the beginning of the fourth movie. Gregory pauses in stuffing his face with popcorn to look over at Evan's earnest face. "You know that?"
Gregory chuckles wetly. It seems Evan isn't alone in the sentimentality tonight. "Only since we were preteens."
Gregory pulls him into that same side hug he always does. "You're my family." Gregory tells him sincerely. "You always will be, too. Hell would freeze over before our family would ever say you aren't one of theirs."
Evan chuckles, eyes misty, because he knows its true. He can imagine his family's reactions so vividly. "I know."
They only sink further into the hug after that, the movie continuing on. Theyve long since stopped with the thank yous. Not since they got it through Evan's thick skull that they arent doing him a favor. They just love him.
It's in that moment that Evan realizes that tomorrow is another day. And there are more after that and after that. Theres more milestones to reach, more years to spend with his brother and their family, and he cant wait to experience them.
But right now, he's content continuing a ten year long tradition as a mundane celebration for a non-mundane achievement.
It's not mundane to him at all, anyway. It means the world to him.
Besides, he can't imagine a world where his family doesn't throw a suprise party for him when he and Gregory visit them tomorrow.
ao3 link
#after writing so much about how gregory affects evan in the present i wanted to do something different.#especially since this is the 10th work in the series!#so this fic takes place in the future. in my little universe gregory and evan continue to live together for a very very long time.#i imagine after so long of in their heads adopting evan#and also gregory and evans mutual feelings of being family and eachothers siblings they would just.#not beat around the bush any longer. i think everyone knew in their minds#but when evan hightailed it to the fazbears when he turned 18 they all actually sat down and were like#okay so we agree that evan is ours now.#anyway their lives continue to be good and they have eachother and experience life with one another.#they feel emotional in this fic over it being a decade since they met but there are no hard feelings over their current life.#just reminiscing over their childhoods :) especially since its so special to evan specifically as a turning point in his life#he feels more intensely over it#i wanted to write somethinf different with them and here we are#i make myself emotional over my own incredibly specific au#pandas writes#flashlight duo#flashlight duo modern au#flashlight duo oneshots#gregory and evan#this is classified as the future with them being kids as the present in the universe btw#oneshot#nostalgia#the fazbears#fnaf gregory#evan afton#au
71 notes
·
View notes
Note
shannon!! so i’m a little late to the show BUT i would love alllll the backstory for judy!! i love her sosososo much and will enjoy anything you want to share about her!! tysm 🫶🏻🌻
jj!!!! hi and HELLOOOOO!!!!! i will *happily* spill all i can about some judy background! my sweet bean! i fear im about to yap and there’s no stopping haha! THANK YOU! <3
JUDY R. RYBINSKI

(b. 1922) AGE: 21
Judith R. Rybinski, better known as Judy by her crew, joins the USAAF at the age of 20, in order to get out of the life she grew up in, get some experience in the world, and to do something for the war effort. From the little town of Hot Springs, North Carolina, she grew up in a time where there wasn't a lot of money or food on the table for their large family of 9. This lifestyle really harbored the need for building the foundations of determination, grit and resilience. As one of the oldest of all her siblings, with her father and mother constantly doing whatever they could to bring in as much money as they could, Judy found herself constantly in the position of taking care of her siblings - whether it was waking them up, preparing a meal, getting them out of the door to school, or putting them to bed.
Alongside this, she was helping in any way she could to take care of the struggling family-farm that had been there for generations. This included livestock, crops, and taking what they could from the farm to sell at the market whenever they could. Judy found herself out-of-place when she'd have to go to school, seeing herself compared to the other girls in town - their pretty dresses, delicious-looking lunches, the books they had at their disposal. She would always say that she was lucky to have what she had - a family that worked hard, a family that cared for her and each other, plenty of siblings and experiences and stories to tell. Yet, she felt like she was stuck - like she'd stay on this farm and never get to leave.
A few anons and I last summer really dug into Judy's character here - especially the impacts of her background on her present character (the #judy rybinski tag is filled with this stuff! shoutout to those lovely people!). Not only did the Rybinski family not have a lot of money, leading Judy to grow up fairly poor, but she also grew up very sheltered. The oldest child of the family, Judy's older brother, Antony, was usually incredibly protective of Judy and the rest of their siblings. Whenever she went to town for her job, he'd walk her to and from, made sure she was in at curfew at night and if there were any sort of suspicious people around - Antony was usually close by.
In this way, she hasn't had a lot of experiences with love - some of my previous asks on Judy focus on her lack of romantic experiences - which really is a reflection on why she is the way she is around Rosie. We know she has a crush on him throughout a good portion of first meeting him and interacting with him, and we see how she really doesn't know what to do with these feelings long after. But they're there and she feels them and they are incredibly real to her.
I suspect for Judy this has a lot to do with growing up in the South in the 1930s, combined with the changing times, a woman's role, and a man's perspective of that. The It's Your Fight Too posters hung up around town pulled her towards the war (along with many other women just like her). Her parents were most hesitant if anything; Antony was more supportive, but cautious - his 20-year-old sister wanting to fight in a war?
A lot of surface-level characteristics of Judy focus on her joy, her happiness, her hope and usual 'cup half-full mentality'. But underneath that is a lot of foundations we've previously explored, that have since been built up because of her childhood and upbringing. She's mentally very strong, especially being one of the youngest of the Silver Bullets crew, and always is one of the first people to look on the positive side. This coincides with her constant will to live. When she was younger, her father had taught her and Antony how to do just about anything they needed to survive in the wilderness. She knows how to shoot multiple types of guns (thanks to hunting with her dad and Antony - leading to her roll as a turret gunner), along with stake a tent, strip different animals for food, start a fire, go fishing, and equally be resourceful. Her father grew up in Appalachia all his life and really took these qualities and instilled them into his own children.
Having the presence of her father and mother, though stressed and working as much as they could when she was a child, really helped to allow her to grow, even in hard times. She had a trusting and loving family and sometimes, you don't always hear these types of stories from those struggling. But with Judy, it allowed her to take those steps away from home, to experience something new as well as meet new people!
Through developing Judy and the other Silver Bullets girls, there's the slightly fleshed-out backstory of how each of the SB girls came to be on the crew. Of course, before Annie Bradshaw, there was Captain Birdie Faulkner who handpicked the crew in training. And when it came to turret ball gunner, Judy was one of the first picks for Birdie. It is surmised that Birdie thought Judy to be a "Young, bright, and caring young woman, who had the will to fight and survive coursing through her body, along with an underlying wildness about her that gave a hand to her survival instincts and intelligence with a gun." She also was pretty short and small - someone who could fit easily into a turret ball as well as know how to work in all at once. Judy would credit Birdie for getting her to the war there after.
What's fun about Judy is that, she's sort of become a main character herself? I didn't really expect her to, especially after I decided why not pair her with Rosie Rosenthal? But, she's really become a character people can see themselves in, confide in, find comfort in and really want to protect with their lives. Which genuinely makes me so so happy!!! :)
I could absolutely go into even more depth with any part of this backstory for Judy, but she's been such a pleasure and joy to write. And thank you to everyone who has loved on her and willed yourself to protect her! <3 I TOO WANT TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR JUDY RYBINSKI!!!! Thank you again for this ask, JJ! This was a lot of fun! :)
ALSO - Cailee Spaeny is no official face claim, but every time I see gifs or interviews of anything, I can see it as Judy. SO - that's why she appears in the little image heading above! :D
THANK YOU ALL!!!
#shoutout to judy for being iconic fr#she's sm fun truly :)#and thank you jj for sending this in! I HAD SM FUN!!!!#i'd love to continue to dig more into judy's character - why she is the way she is#all that good stuff#it's my favorite part of writing#what makes a person tick#how does their background influence their present self and decisions#ITS GREATTT#judy rybinski#silver billets#mota writings#judy u icon! <3#YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text

hate that im writing this. hate that now i cant stop and abandon it as a wip because it has taken hold of the axons of the neurons in my brain and will haunt me if i dont complete it
#a year later and im writing the continuation to the present tense fic aka the random ass 10k word be fic id written#during a brief moment of insanity and boredom#god#how do i still have words for this show#beyond evil
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
my writing is bad. oh well guess ill revisit tomorrow.
#just feeling very self conscious. i struggle writing more long-form pieces and bc this piece only flirts with narrative i wonder about its#more abstract parts and i dont necessarily see a definite thought that needs to be continued or expanded upon#think tomorrow i am going to focus on straight up: what did i put in this/actually write about and what else do i want to include#for reference im writing a kinda abstract prose piece about disability and chronic pain and so far my main through line is comparing my pas#to my present and yearning for something more definitive but i want to cling to the abstractness of it so it doesnt necessarily feel like i#telling a 'story' but because of that its like ok. where do we even end. how do i know when to continue
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days
ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you
#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend#5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall#meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by#other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin#i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances#and how it's only been getting worse over time#but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the#right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together#god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie#and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive#for months before that. that's not normal#god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off#and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly#and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left#if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug#a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so#even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause#it's the second to last lab#man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin#those the last possible three days#speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these#people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration#fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever#but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud#i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before#like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's technically a fic that goes before the splatoon 3 one (which is almost done! hoping to start posting it on the s3 anniversary tho) and I don't really have motivation to write it but I Did write the prologue + first 4 chapters a few years back (which are all specifically the ones that take place in Inkopolis). There's also a few scenes in the spl3 fic where stuff from it is referenced and it also sort of explains why one character is Not Present.
So the question is do I post the existing chapters as a sorta segway / prologue to the splatoon 3 fic because of this (and leave it unfinished so I can post the rest if I write it someday)
#its the fic that explains how Margin ends up in the splatlands basically andI wrote up to specifically her leaving#theres a bunch of characters introduced after that point and some are present in the spl3 fic but they play a minor role#was going to make this a poll but i guess thats unnecessary + i think most ppl follow me for visual art not writing#so I will probably just like do that at some point probably closer to when I post the main fic#if you hate unfinished fics. sorry but at least it will technically continue lol
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
my talents are wasted on being a student I should be doing video essays
#I have so many thoughts. all the time. and scholarship won't take me seriously#I need to write an essay about mascot horror and particularly the resurgence post-fnaf about poppy playtime and amanda the adventurer#and how it's connected to a cultural consciousness of consumption and childhood nostalgia exploitation#and is a masterful subgenre of horror that is key to understanding the millenial and gen z experience#but no. I would be flogged if I did that#i also have many many video essays I want to do just on the terror#on the subgenre of horror comedy and the interplay between the two genres separately#(and how especially edgar allan poe is foundational to all of these because literally he was coming up with all this shit before anybody#else and it continues to amaze me how much the man's work is in conversation with the darkness of the american experiment that continues to#haunt the stories that we produce to this day) AND I AM!!!!!! SO MAD!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA DO THAT. LET ME DO THAT. AND PAY ME FOR IT#if I get good equipment as a graduation present it is all over for u hoes
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i really just dont think more than one person cares that i write fics tbh
and yes i love that one person so so so much and i love creating with and for them and its the light of my miserable existence
but it would just.. sometimes be nice. to be acknowledged when i do share something publicly
and yes i know it only matters that im happy and im writing for a niche ship within a niche fandom; trust me ive heard it all before. it doesnt change the fact that i feel like i dont even exist as a writer, like in general. within the fandom or otherwise
and idk its just very demotivating and it sucks so
#yeah#it would just sometimes be nice to be acknowledged. even on the most basic of levels#and i mean like.. people asking stuff. showing even general interest. fuck i dont even get requests for anything whenever ive posted that#they are open. like i know i havent done that in a while but why do you think i stopped#it just feels like i dont exist. unless i have something visual to present to the fandom im invisible#idk. it just kinda sucks. like a lot. cause even if i dabble in a lot of things writing is still the thing i wanna do and love the most#and i know im gonna keep writing and creating. but just trying to talk about it outside of very specific dms or sharing it publicly is just#not worth it tbh. and it doesnt matter how hard i try#anyways just. a thought. i guess. idk im running on very little sleep and two cups of coffee im a little bit sick lmao#read immortal fears. thats my final note on this. i would like to continue that story. okay bye#night is an absolute mess on main
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I began to watch euphoria to calm myself down because i was spiraling (a distraction) and i just finished the second episode and i think its good albeit exploitative in its graphic content but im taking care not to call it completely "unnecessary" perhaps it does have a point perhaps not (Remembers sam levinsons barely disguised fetish of mentally ill women) Okay maybe it doesnt have to show everything it does
#Really giant disclaimer i do not condone the sexualization present in the show if that isnt clear i think the fact that they couldnt have#even tastefully censored it is incredibly stupid etc etc#Despite that though (levinson you are going to hell) it has good pacing and writing and visuals#The characters are very compelling i really like how their minds really get dug into in the show. Its all very interesting and i will#continue though i am mindful of the content warnings and like unforgivably strange stuff in it so dont worry im approaching it with#a brain#i have some thoughts and criticisms but i wont get into them
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
did the old tumblr live toggle actually work for yall? mine literally never has lmao
#on a more serious note. ive said before but it really is so disheartening how much this site is going to shit#saw a comment that said staff was like ''changes will continue until revenue improves'' which i dont know if is 100% legit but#I'D certainly believe it. and in which case. god if that isn't the darkest death knell possible.#esp. for me bc like. this is the only social media site ive ever really used#it has such a unique layout and i really enjoy working with it for what it is#most of the stuff i make is made to be posted On Tumblr and doesn't really work anywhere else#like wrt to how i format comics and writing for here [and askblogs formerly :p]#like yeah i could migrate and yeah i could figure out other ways to present stuff but i don't want to! i like doing it like this!#and then theres the whole losing audience thing or whatever like fine. irritating sure but ultimately does not matter i'll still make stuff#it's mostly just frustrating bc this year has been the best i've made use of tumblr formatting and most ive enjoyed doing so#and strongest it's been received!...all while continually falling apart around itself#like RIGHT as i hit my stride you know. if i was already past my prime with it it'd still be annoying but whatever its bound to happen#but like right now!!!! come on dude.#bweeeaaahh
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ringleader (Fake) : I'm just so cute and tiny! Who can say! Ringleader (Real) : ...wait, he's not bisexual? Fake: what? Real: what?
#my characters#when you find out your married friend isnt bisexual after knowing him for a decade#and then you go back to the fact that it should explain a lot but it actually explains nothing#because why would a straight man always comment on how cute another guy is#and Real eventually has to ask the Husband are you really straight? and hes like Oh Absolutely. Why?#and then you are left with so many more questions as your friend is still talking about how funny it is#that no one thinks hes straight but how no one suspects his wife is bi and shes bi did you know she was bi shes wonderful and bi and still#chose to marry him hes so lucky he has such a wonderful wife haha#Real is now real stressed because no he actually assumed she was straight how bad is he at detecting this sorta thing#unrelated to ocs there is a coffee shop i go to and one of the workers likes to write me funny messages on my cups#and so today i was telling him (a trans guy) about going to lunch with my mom n dad#and when my mom and i were presented a side salad i got a sir and she got a maam#and im like its only worth mentioning bc that wasnt our waitress but some waiter#which continues the trend of im only whatever gender makes you gay its so cool#and he was telling me thats the goal in life to make everyone gay#and then he proceeded to write LITTLE FAIRY BOI with an eye emoji on my cup#and then he mentioned a worker starts next week who has my name and im like dang i admire that for the other person#and later realize FUCK i have a gender neutral name idk what gender the other one is#so i ask him and he tells me oh yeah he. hes just a guy. and then pauses before telling me#hes either in the community or an ally and hes not sure which#so now im v curious as to what this guy is like but i appreciate the humor of being called lil fairy boi bc of my salad story#and when i saw i had writing i was like OH OH yay whats my insult of the day#and the worker who handed me my cup waited for me to read it with a wary look but i beamed and go PERFECT! thats so fair!#like ive had a girl and a boy argue with each other (children mind you!) over whether i was a girl or a boy#the girl was convinced i was a girl whle the boy defended my boyhood as a fellow boy#its just always so funny to me that i really do just give off whatever pronouns of the person im talking to use vibes
19 notes
·
View notes